A fool's paradise

When you’re happy and you know clap your hands,
When you’re happy and you know tap your feet,
When you’re happy and you know and you really wanna show, stomp your feet,
When you’re red faced and you know hide your face,
When you’re embarrassed and you know, run for cover.
When you’re screwed up and you know and it’s all because of you, stay in bed.

Read an interesting quote by Christian Bale (batman, terminator salvation) today, “I learned that there is a certain character that can be built from embarrassing yourself endlessly. If you can sit happy with embarrassment, nothing can get to you”

Some hints and tips for people who don’t quite agree with that piece of advice. Especially for those who want to avoid those moments which they know they will regret the next day. Nothing to do with contraceptives or promiscuous behaviour, but those simple things that will help you to not drop an anvil on your own foot:

Never get excited over an office party even if you aren’t paying. Though the consumption is on the house (office) the onus to survive the next day is squarely on you, remember Gluttony is a sin!

Do not leave any drink unattended, because
a)It might get spiked or
b)An overzealous friend will feel the need to change the concentration levels out of sheer concern that you haven’t yet provided entertainment.

Never try to explain to metal heads about an indie pop live performance. To them it is the same as Hindi Pop or worse, Country Music!

Don’t play songs like Choli ke peeche kya hai? at the after party.

Don’t dance to songs like, ‘Where is the party (Tamil)?’ ‘Tip Tip Barsa paani’ ‘Hawa Hawa’, and any item number which encourages excessive pelvic thrusts and motions.

Avoid excessive movement, Don’t Dance, period!

And if you can’t follow the above, stay away from new age communication tools which can deliver with great accuracy video feed across the Atlantic to viewers who are suddenly exposed to a Pulp fiction dance routine formed from a cross between Madhuri Dixit, John Travolta and Mithun Chakravarthy.

Notice the devil around you. He comes in all shapes, sizes and colours and is generally helping you feel better, physically it is the closest person to the epicenter of all embarrassing and destructive moments, with the epicenter being you!

When should it strike you that your colleagues are going to have an awesome time the next day? Answer: Precisely when you invert lines of famous songs. Remember it is not “Tu abhi tak hai jawaan aur main Haseen.” It is the girl who is beautiful and you who are young(That is the Zohrajabeen song in case you’re wondering)

Mark Twain said, “It takes half a day for a lie to travel the world while the truth is just putting on the shoes.” Twain was wrong, it takes just the night for an embarrassing truth to travel the world, so don’t bother getting up the next day, seriously the prospects are between rock bottom and a really hard place. The only possible comments the next morning are, “Last night full tight?” or the more somber “Hope you are not too shaky to work.”

And if you are wondering is the joke on you? Well should have thought of that the night before.