Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Rajni v/s the imposter

In between completing the mammoth task of self existence; getting up in the morning, reconciling myself to the fact that I earn a living now, fighting for space with my parents at home to get ready for work, reading the newspaper while traveling by the bus and reading international news websites while at work, I have indeed managed to find some peaceful time to contemplate how Indian pulp fiction/soft power far outweighs its American counterpart by comparing the two most significant cultural phenomenon both in India and the United states.

Not the economy and outsourcing, not policy and the new world order but a far more interesting link between the two Diasporas, the cultural icons who can take soft power to the new generation; Rajnikant and Chuck Norris.

Now first things first Rajnikant is by far the superior actor and entertainer even though Chuck Norris represents the quintessential American Texas hero. My lament is that people in India and the NRI’s do not have any originality left. These so called amazing Rajni jokes that one hears of before a big flick release (like robot) which make their way onto blackberry messengers, emails, tabloid articles and sms’ are actually plagiarized. I agree that Americans will resort to fun facts and jokes about their pulp fiction hero but to all those who claim to have some shred of being Indian at least be original.

Sample a few of the following:

Chuck Norris/Rajnikant visited Zion and Neo is now called the two.
Chuck Norris/Rajnikant has counted till infinity twice
Chuck Norris/Rajnikant doesnot breathe air, air hides in his lungs for protection
Chuck Norris/Rajnikant went to Mcdonalds and ordered a stake/idli and he got it.
Some people wear Superman Pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris/Rajnikant Pajamas.
Chuck Norris/Rajnikant destroyed the periodic table as he only recognizes the element of surprise.
There are no WMD’s in Iraq Chuck Norris/Rajnikant lives in Dallas/Chennai.
Chuck Norris/Rajnikant has already been to Mars that is why there are no signs of life on it.

See my point?? I mean the fact that you can compare a cowboy styled martial arts ranger from the wild wild West to the ultimate exponent of popular entertainment is like well supporting Chuck Norris against Rajnikant, seriously whose going to win that one? Let us compare the similarities:

Bad guys don’t stand a chance I mean they really don’t cause: ‘Chuck
Norris/Rajnikant once had a knife fight and the knife lost.’
The two take machismo to a whole new level, leaving the rest of us red faced and fighting over space that is defined by terms like Metrosexual/Ubersexual.

And that is about it. Here come the reasons why Chuck Norris doesn’t quite cut it at the top level:

Rajnikant has acted in far more movies (not to mention his humble personna).
Rajnikant can act.
Rajni hasn’t had to resort to television to make a comeback (Walker: Texas Ranger,Is that what counts for Action?).
Rajni can dance.
And Rajni will outlive Chuck Norris even if the cowboy is immortal. Why is Chuck immortal? Ans: Because Chuck Norris is already dead but Death is too afraid to tell him.
Rajni’s cigarette flicks and angavastram usage by far out guns Chuck’s roundhouse kick.

And most importantly its Rajni’s dialogue delivery that sets him apart from the world. He doesn’t need to fight bad guys, villains and society because he says the most awesome things in the whole world (credit to all writers for Rajni One liners.)

So instead of comparing Rajni with an insignificant American counterpart, celebrate his one liners and charisma. Who else can pull the immortal dialogue: “Kannan pannigal daan kuttatla waruva, Singam epodumain Single-a daan waruvaan.”
Roughly translated, “Only pigs come to attack in a crowd a lion will always take you on alone.”

Rajnikant visited Zion shortly after Chuck Norris; the next day the advertisement in the classified read, “Seeking Employment opportunities for the two’s.”- Please contact Neo and Chuck.

MIND IT!!!!!!!

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