Foreign-down- the-drain-investments

Here is a cost benefit analysis on the brain drain that takes place today. It is not a myth as I found out.

The average friend in college forces you to spend the following:
40 phone calls of 3 min duration @ 60 paise per minute over a month = Rs 72
And in your hey day when you could run 100 metres without pulling up unknown muscles in your body you have about 10 of these people around.
A total of Rs 720 (apologies haven’t installed the rupee symbol on my lap top at work)

This is then accompanied by those senseless messages, 'what time are we meeting for the movie?','Which multiplex are we going to?', 'Are we having lunch?'
None of them are ever combined in a single verse of prose they are always separate and are in turn separted from each other at an interval of 5 seconds.

That brings us to 3 messages per person per day @ 30 paise per message= Rs 9 per day, and more importantly Rs 270 per month.
For those keeping score that is a total of Rs 990.

Also we must mention those not so significant friends (about 3 in number) whom you call for precisely 2 minutes each day, just to let him/her know that you do in fact attend the same college and are supposed to sit in the same class so that you get your assignments delivered on time or 2 weeks past the deadline (whichever is humanly possible!)

The total is now=990+54=Rs 1044 and a tax of Rs 50 bringing your phone bills to Rs 1054 month

Then there are those miscellaneous monthly expenses;

Rs 200 donated towards the Charity of ‘Arre I have no change for the auto today’

Rs 250 towards the Missionaries of ‘That’s Rs 150 per person for lunch;I have Rs 100
so cover my fifity!

The missionaries are extremely expedient in seeking charity as within the span of 5 minutes every member takes out Rs 100 and 100 only leaving you to cover up since you took out the big note (idiot!).

And my all time favourite donation of Rs 400 towards the Brother hood of ‘Mere liye tu itna bhi nahi de sakta hai kya?’

That ladies and gentlemen brings us to Rs 1904 lets round it up to cover for bus and train fares and cold drinks to Rs 2000 per month.

Over a period of a year that is Rs 24,000.
And if it is your birthday add Rs 2500
And if it is your birthday and a leap year/election year add another Rs 2000 since your friends count both as celebratory events owing to a contorted sense of polity.

So let us re-re-revise our number to Rs 28,500 a year and for four years (damn that extra engineering year!) it is Rs.... at this time I am using a calculator , scratch that a pen and a paper………

Rs 1,12,000 well alright account for a bit of inflation and exaggeration and Round it up to Rs 1lac!!!!!!!

That takes me quite a few months to earn back! And well what about return on investments? What returns? What investments? They have all run off to the Glorious US of A to earn twice as much as I do by waiting on tables and clearing garbage. Is this the law of capitalism? Are you kidding me?

The Indian business papers estimate that a huge amount of Foreign direct investment keeps pumping in to our economy thorough remittances and that they are a key factor in determining the buoyancy of the market.

Forget remittances I don’t even get back phone calls to see how you are doing?? And this brain/ money/ emotional drain just continues. Not only have you not added any more people to your speed dial you end up calling people across the atlantic/ pacific/Indian and the Bermuda triangle @Rs 6 per minute only to reach voice mails.

And these snobs forget even the modicum of humour they had left when they were at home. So what you don't get are humorous voice mail messages which could have said, “I am busy having fun/earning twice as much as you/Did I mention there are two strip clubs in my neighbourhood/free sorority party today/in your face loser”

So all that you get instead is, “This is Mr/Ms X please leave a message after the beep and I will call you back, beep.”
My sentiments exactly, “Beep!”